Senate Beat: Jyl Shaffer is crowned “Sassy,” People Talk a Lot About AppComm
This week’s Senate meeting opened with Assistant Dean of Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Jyl Shaffer, responding to her characterization as “totally adequate,” moving that she also be known as “sassy.” Dean of Students Mike Brody wondered if this title would carry over to the next ADSAPR, leading to Jyl express mock concern for her job security. At least I hope it was mock concern! At any rate, the motion was passed unanimously.
Committee reports are always fun! Sarah reported that tons of latex gloves had been stolen from the SU cleaner’s closet during Fetish Ball, which she described as “pretty uncool.” Maybe they just needed them for their costumes? Sarah announced that HumPlay would be on the thirteenth of April. Johannes read the recommendations of finance committee on behalf of Aidan, and these recommendations were approved, as always. A couple of notable moments in finance committee: somebody asked for one hundred eight seven dollars and seventy four cents (allocated one hundred and seventy dollars) for pizza bagels and another asked for fifty-five dollars (allocated: thirty-five) so that they can pickle vegetables they find in the dumpster.
AOD Committee is still working on getting smoking pavilions, apparently. Student Diversity Committee has a mission statement now, which will allow it to have a clearer sense of purpose. Shabab described himself as “hella sick.” JR entered the meeting twenty minutes late and covered in mud. Later, during an impassioned speech, he got mud on the table and had to wipe it off with his sleeve, which was muddy, thus spreading the mud further.
The bulk of the discussion was about proposed Appointments Committee bylaws, brought forth by former AppComm chair Sarah Carlisle. Despite the fact that before the meeting, Sarah was under the impression that Senate agreed upon the proposal to change the bylaws around Appointments Committee, strong divides appeared at the meeting itself. The most important debate was surrounding the role of advisers. Shabab made the point that the expertise of the advisers was key in the decision making process for the appointment of Judicial Board and Honor Council and should be given more representation. Several senators backed him up on this, while others, like John Iselin, argued that senate, as an elected body, should have a greater role in this decision than the unelected advisers, and that the new system would speed up the appointments process. Further information on the fine points of this one hour discussion can be found in the minutes.
The discussion, in this correspondent’s opinion, began to drag. Former Senator Jenny Calvert-Warren somehow fell asleep on the arm of a couch, clinging to the side of it the way a sloth clings to a tree branch. It was strangely fascinating. Eventually, Senate hit an existential crisis, questioning the reason for the systems that existed in the first place. They questioned their seriousness as a body, with ex-president Nora asking how many senators actually read the minutes (in case you were wondering, John and JR—somebody get those dudes some “You’re awesome!” stickers). They questioned exactly what Reed College had elected them to do. They questioned whether exactly they were in compliance with the Student Body Constitution.
Around 6:20, it became apparent that senate was not going to pass the bylaw change as it stood, but take it back to executive session for further discussion. And with that, the existential crisis was over, and everybody left and went home. But not before Sarah Carlilse made an impassioned defense of abstinence. That is, abstaining from voting in favor or against things. Still.