It’s completely black and my alarm is screaming. I throw off the covers and stagger across a floor covered with discarded pieces of clothing and old papers. The cat runs under my legs as I stumble into the kitchen, meowing for attention and a bit of food, but the only thing on my mind is […]Read More
Reed College can be a tough place for new students. Odds are, if you’re going here, you weren’t very cool in high school. But think: There are plenty of people here who were even lamer than you were; this is your time to shine, to become king of this social molehill! As I’ve been here […]Read More
Some upperclassmen may have been a tad upset by my last article. Believe me: I totally understand. Some of you may not be used to people my age being snarky or otherwise freethinking — except, of course, back when you were this age and were just as sassy as I am. Regardless, I do understand […]Read More
In last week’s Quest, freshman Rachel Pincus laid out a few guidelines for freshmen-upperclassmen etiquette. I think you really missed the mark, Rachel. There’s really only one rule governing interactions between freshmen and upperclassmen: all y’all freshmen need to shut the fuck up. “We served out time as prospies and now we’re just plain old […]Read More
I’ll take my dinner without a show, PLEASE!
Or any meals with soft-core porn for that matter. Honey, don’t make out in front of me when I’m trying to eat.Read More
In some of my recent encounters with upperclassmen, I’ve realized we all could learn a little about freshman-upperclassmen etiquette. I’ll try not to be too harsh in my advice since I understand how embarrassing it would be to let a freshman make you cry. Don’t call us weird names. We don’t appreciate being called things […]Read More
After eighteen years of celibacy, I got comfortable. It became easy to just drink a bottle of wine, come home, and just masturbate myself to sleep. Weekend after weekend, I would put the effort into looking good and trying to snag myself a boy. It never worked. So I gave up.Read More