The Quest | The Free Press of Reed College

When Sexual Intercourse Falls Short of Sex

What is sex? I am genuinely asking this question. I googled “Sex” but all I got was “Cosmo’s sex tips” (terrifying) and “sex videos, sex pictures” (interesting, but not very informative). Webster’s dictionary defines sex as “sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse.” This of course led me to look up “sexual intercourse,” which brought me […]

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Freshman Experience: The Rampant Self

I am writing this at 2 a.m. on a Monday morning. I was throwing a mini pity party outside and, as it happens at a small college, ended up running into a bunch of people I knew. I love 2 a.m. pity party meetings because most of the people you run into are in similar […]

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Strains of Vapyr: On the Handling of Things

It has lately occurred to me through situation and experience how little time most of our sort spends considering their handling of things. This is troubling, considering the criticality and complexity of all these things. The manipulation of the mind, at the very least, cannot be a simple task, but one of fine precision and […]

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Homer’s: Get Some Dank in Your Tank

The solution to most of the problems that you could be faced with can be found inside the three walls and shelves that enclose Homer’s Hut.

You’ve been there before: it’s 2 A.M. and you either need sustenance, caffeine, or some sort of medicine because you feel like you’re dying. The solution to most of the problems that you could be faced with can be found inside the three walls and shelves that enclose Homer’s Hut. But Homer’s cannot be fully […]

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Advice from a Thesising Queditor

It’s completely black and my alarm is screaming. I throw off the covers and stagger across a floor covered with discarded pieces of clothing and old papers. The cat runs under my legs as I stumble into the kitchen, meowing for attention and a bit of food, but the only thing on my mind is […]

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Robert “Schwartz” Khan’s How to Be Cool at Reed

Reed College can be a tough place for new students. Odds are, if you’re going here, you weren’t very cool in high school. But think: There are plenty of people here who were even lamer than you were; this is your time to shine, to become king of this social molehill! As I’ve been here […]

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Serious Advice from a Sober Freshman, Part Deux

Some upperclassmen may have been a tad upset by my last article. Believe me: I totally understand. Some of you may not be used to people my age being snarky or otherwise freethinking — except, of course, back when you were this age and were just as sassy as I am.  Regardless, I do understand […]

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A Serious Resonse to a Sober Freshman

In last week’s Quest, freshman Rachel Pincus laid out a few guidelines for freshmen-upperclassmen etiquette. I think you really missed the mark, Rachel. There’s really only one rule governing interactions between freshmen and upperclassmen: all y’all freshmen need to shut the fuck up. “We served out time as prospies and now we’re just plain old […]

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The Bitchy Queen Discusses You, Your Public Displays of Affection, and Why They Need to Stop

I’ll take my dinner without a show, PLEASE!

Or any meals with soft-core porn for that matter. Honey, don’t make out in front of me when I’m trying to eat.

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Serious Advice from a Sober Freshman

In some of my recent encounters with upperclassmen, I’ve realized we all could learn a little about freshman-upperclassmen etiquette. I’ll try not to be too harsh in my advice since I understand how embarrassing it would be to let a freshman make you cry. Don’t call us weird names. We don’t appreciate being called things […]

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Celibacy and the City

After eighteen years of celibacy, I got comfortable. It became easy to just drink a bottle of wine, come home, and just masturbate myself to sleep. Weekend after weekend, I would put the effort into looking good and trying to snag myself a boy. It never worked. So I gave up.

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