The Reed College Quest

  • When Sexual Intercourse Falls Short of Sex

    What is sex? I am genuinely asking this question. I googled “Sex” but all I got was “Cosmo’s sex tips” (terrifying) and “sex videos, sex pictures” (interesting, but not very informative). Webster’s dictionary defines sex as “sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse.” This of course led me to look up “sexual intercourse,” which brought me […]

  • The Sexual Intellectual, AKA The Fucking Know-It-All: “Confessions of a Premature Ejaculator”

    So… I have this friend. He’s a pretty decent looking guy and doesn’t have much trouble sealing the deal when it comes to people he’s attracted to, but…well, he has this “problem.” It’s not necessarily a medical condition or any kind of psychological disorder but, sometimes, he gets a little too excited by foreplay and […]

  • The Sexual Intellectual, AKA The Fucking Know-It-All: An Ode to Going Down

    Lewis Black, the angry yet eloquent sociopolitical comedian once said, “Curling should be taken out of the Olympics and replaced with oral sex – it’s harder than curling, and if you’re any good at it, you deserve a medal!” I couldn’t agree more with Mr. Black. Unfortunately my written appeals to the IOC have all […]

  • The Sexual Intellectual, AKA The Fucking Know-It-All: Sex Tips for Guys

    I’m not out to teach you the ultimate secret to sex like some kung-fu sex master or a Men’s Health magazine will promise to. After speaking to some close and sexually active female friends, though, I have devised some guidelines for men in approaching sex.

  • The Sexual Intellectual, AKA The Fucking Know-It-All: Sex Tips for Girls Revisited

    This past summer I came across a book entitled “Sex Tips for Girls” in the bargain bin of a vintage store called Smut. The cover sported a pair of fishnetted legs in red heels, enough to capture my attention and interest (as it should any het male). Penned by humorist and journalist Cynthia Heimel (whose […]

  • The Five Songs You Need to Survive Being Sexiled

    At some point in your college career, you’re sure to get sexiled. Instead of taking it lying down (I’m sure there’s a lame pun in there somewhere, forgive me for not taking the time to find it), you should definitely use this playlist to turn what could be a miserable experience into a wonderful opportunity […]

  • 5 Songs to Bone To

    After a certain Queditor had an unfortunate experience involving copulation to the tunes of Animal Collective (seriously?!), one of our rank decided to rectify the situation with by compiling a short playlist of songs more appropriate for everyone’s favorite extracurricular activity…besides having pretentious conversations about your favorite Lethem book during your downtime –  goddamn hipsters. […]

  • Celibacy and the City

    After eighteen years of celibacy, I got comfortable. It became easy to just drink a bottle of wine, come home, and just masturbate myself to sleep. Weekend after weekend, I would put the effort into looking good and trying to snag myself a boy. It never worked. So I gave up.

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