On Talking in Hum
This is for the shy kids and those prone to impostor syndrome. I am a Reed alum and I was a student who rarely spoke in Hum conference. I was terrified. I didn’t want to look dumb in front of my professor and especially not in front of my classmates. They all seemed smarter and so, so much more confident than me. This letter isn’t about how I got good at Hum conference—I never was. For years, including through some of grad school, I wasn’t good at any conference. But I developed some techniques for improvement along the way, and I want to share them so that you can hopefully improve faster than me. I was also a professor for a while and experienced the other side of things, so I’ll share that experience, too.
First, I just want to highlight that you all come from vastly different educational backgrounds. Some of you come from the fanciest private schools in all the land, some of you come from schools that didn’t even offer AP classes. At my high school, if we spoke in class, it was to answer a question correctly or incorrectly. But no one had to speak, and your opinion on a text was rarely solicited outside of essays. At my good friend and dormmate’s private school, they had been doing conference style learning and discussion since middle school. This dynamic makes conference feel natural for some, and alien and scary for others. There’s no getting around this, sadly. If you are uncomfortable, you will just have to work harder than your peers to become comfortable. Sucks. Also, I just want to say, I am a staff member, but this is written solely from my experience as an alum and formerly anxiety-riddled freshman. These tips are endorsed by no one but me. Now, onto the tips.
Tip 1: Say something on the first day. Anything. On Day One, you’re worried about coming off poorly and the pressure feels immensely horrible, but it will only feel worse on Day Two if you didn’t say anything on Day One. You may already be past Day One, so just say something next time because the pressure builds, and the more it builds, the more you feel like you have to say something brilliant. “I can’t say something dumb after having not talked for four days,” you’ll think. During class, you’ll wait until you can think of something especially smart, and then, oops, class is over. Now you haven’t talked for five days, so the thing you say has to be even more brilliant. The slight embarrassment of saying something not great is far better than the self-pressure and shame you will feel if you continue to say nothing.
Tip 2: Try to talk towards the beginning of class. This does two things: it gets it out of the way so the pressure is off for the rest of class, and the field is still open. By that I mean the conversation hasn’t yet narrowed in on a topic where you feel you have nothing to say. The longer you wait, the more the conversation might go in a direction you’re unprepared for, so any time you feel like you can maybe say something, just say it. And don’t try to recite it in your head before you say it, just spit it out as soon as you can. For us nervous weirdos, every second of rehearsal or doubt makes it harder to talk, so just jump, don’t look down first. I also had problems with getting in my head, then realizing I hadn’t been listening to the conversation at all. If you talk early on, you’re less likely to have gotten lost in the Charybdis of your own negative thoughts. See that? I really did take Hum.
Tip 3: Volunteer to be the leader as often as you can. This goes along with the “just say something” tip. If you are the leader, you absolutely have to say something. There’s no weaseling out of it. You also are forced to read the material in more depth when you’re the leader, so you’ll be pushing yourself to not half-ass it, which, if you’re like me, is a push you sometimes need. Volunteer to lead early in the semester so that you don’t have as many other conference leaders to compare yourself to. While you’re at it, stop comparing yourself to others. When you’ve figured out how to do that, come tell me.
Tip 4: Ask questions. Questions are often as good as comments and much easier to come up with. Questions still show that you engaged with the material. And the more you talk, even if you’re just asking questions, the less importance you’ll place on any one thing you say. Sometimes, just getting any words out helps. Here’s an easy one: I’m sure there’s a person in class who talks nonstop (there always is), so after they talk, say, “What do you mean by that? Can you explain a little more?” The talker will like this because it means their idea was worth more examination, and now they get to do what they like best—talk more—and you will have succeeded in saying something. Maybe your contribution wasn’t phenomenal, but it will feel better than saying nothing and will help you ease into talking more frequently.
Tip 5: Do the damn reading. I think when you don’t say a lot (or anything), you can get lost in the despair of “what’s the point, I’m not going to talk anyway.” This is a trap, and I can’t say I didn’t fall into it a few times. As bad as it feels to sit in class and say nothing, it feels far worse to sit in class without the possibility of saying anything. Don’t do that to yourself. Skim it or read only part if you have to, but don’t skip it entirely. Honestly, skimming and still being able to participate is a life skill that is worth learning.
Finally, when I was a student, I was very concerned with the professor thinking I was smart, or at least not dumb. But when I was a professor, all I really wanted was students who contributed. We just like when you are engaged and thinking and trying. You don’t need to be perfect. If you were, you wouldn’t be as fun to talk to. I always liked a C student who asked questions to further their understanding more than an A student who already knew everything and talked to show off. Maybe not everyone is like me, but I’d wager most are. We’re professors because we like explaining things, so let us. Ask questions!
Now the truism: it’s hard but it gets easier the more you do it. You owe it to yourself to try your best.