By Kathy Oleson, Melissa Osborne, and Crystal Williams
Dear Reed Community,
In a couple of weeks, you’ll receive an invitation to participate in the Reed College Campus Climate Survey. You’ll see flyers posted around campus and you’ll hear your professors, colleagues, and friends talking about the survey. And, we hope, you will be among those who are actively encouraging your friends, peers, and colleagues to participate. Reed College aspires to be an inclusive community that respects and honors all of its members. Only by assessing where we are can we fully understand what is working well and what areas need attention and action.
So… I have this friend. He’s a pretty decent looking guy and doesn’t have much trouble sealing the deal when it comes to people he’s attracted to, but…well, he has this “problem.” It’s not necessarily a medical condition or any kind of psychological disorder but, sometimes, he gets a little too excited by foreplay and by the time he starts having sex, the show’s pretty much over. To be frank, he’s a premature ejaculator. Even though there’s nothing really wrong with him, when it happens he’s deeply embarrassed in front of sexual partners. This problem was driving him to desperation – he couldn’t talk to the girls he slept with about it and wasn’t quite ready to broach that subject with his male friends, so, he did what any totally hopeless/desperate person would do.
Lewis Black, the angry yet eloquent sociopolitical comedian once said, “Curling should be taken out of the Olympics and replaced with oral sex – it’s harder than curling, and if you’re any good at it, you deserve a medal!” I couldn’t agree more with Mr. Black. Unfortunately my written appeals to the IOC have all been blatantly disregarded. They must consider oral sex less of an Olympic sport than a fine art, which, I suppose, it is. Olympic sport or not, there is one thing of which I’m certain: receiving oral sex can and should be one of the most pleasurable experiences in a lover’s life. Giving it: possibly more so.
I’m not out to teach you the ultimate secret to sex like some kung-fu sex master or a Men’s Health magazine will promise to. After speaking to some close and sexually active female friends, though, I have devised some guidelines for men in approaching sex.
This past summer I came across a book entitled “Sex Tips for Girls” in the bargain bin of a vintage store called Smut. The cover sported a pair of fishnetted legs in red heels, enough to capture my attention and interest (as it should any het male). Penned by humorist and journalist Cynthia Heimel (whose name curiously sounds like “hymen”) circa 1985, the tome is a bit dated, but full of useful tidbits for males and females alike. I suggest you glimpse it, if not for informational purposes, then for the many hours giggling uncontrollably you’ll doubtlessly spend while reading it (unless you’re clueless, in which case it’s purely for the former reason). As a sex advice enthusiast, I feel it necessary to share some of Ms. Heimel’s wisdom.