Opinion: Capris are Joan of Arc and Morrissey is the Devil
Dear Vincent,
Your favorite subpar philosopher, Stephan Morrissey, once said, “And now I know how Joan of Arc felt,” and while reading your previous article, “A Call to Smother the Capri Pant in the Cradle,” I felt like capris were Joan of Arc and you were the English clergy. Even though you are in my top 4 favorite quidditors, I fear it is my duty to go against you and defend the capri pant.
Speaking of Joan of Arc, let's talk about France’s clothing culture in the 15th-19th century, just as you talked about in your article. Yes, many French nobles wore extravagant clothing, such as capri-ed pantaloons, but those are not capris. The capri-esque garment you are referencing is known as a culotte (essentially a version of what at the time would be capris meant for outerwear). But, when you type in “Victorian Capris” into Google, the images that appear are more similar to that of bloomers, or the underwear that would be worn at the time.
Personally, when I think of capris, I tend to think of youth in Paris in the 60s and the Yé-Yé movement. Capris as we know them today were properly designed by Sonja de Lannart in 1948, the name deriving from the Italian isle Capri (where they were first popularized). The reason why I think of the French instead of the Italians is because of their worldwide popularity spike due to actress Brigitte Bardot and, soon after, Marilyn Monroe. At the time, the popular fashion trend for women was the full-length pant. The reason for this trend is because it was seen as dirty, or promiscuous, for a woman to show her legs. By utilizing the capris, women were able to show a little calf while still seeming conservative enough for the general public to accept them.
But that’s all in the past. Where do capris stand today? Well, as a fat girl, I have a wider range of emotion when it comes to capris. As a majority of fat-girl-clothing shops market to grandmas and millennials, a majority of my pant options are capris. I used to hate this. I would hate that these, which I once thought of as a scam of a pant, were my only options. As a middle schooler, I would have to show up to school with pants just showing ankle to full calf, out of range of length. I wanted to be like the other girls with their full-length, straight-legged, and straight-sized jeans. But it’s because of these being a majority of my pant options that I was able to find love for them. I found that capris allowed me to show off my shoes with more ease without having to go through the effort of wearing a skirt (many of them falling at capri length). I found that capris also created a more interesting silhouette, allowing me to make more memorable and “fashionable” outfits.
The silhouette is an important part of an outfit. One of the first things I learned when on my fashion journey was that silhouette plays a major role in if an outfit is “good” or “bad.” While I do love a good full-length jean (especially in this cold weather), they don’t add much to the silhouette of an outfit. But our alternative capris do. Capris can do wonderful things to the silhouette. It can add a line between the upper and lower leg through the use of a capri with embellishments on the end (ruffles, bows, or just a mini bell bottom). You can create a “skin sandwich” with a bold boot and baggy capri. You can even utilize skinny capris and pair them with a skirt or dress and taller boots or socks. There is so much variation in silhouettes and outfits you can create with capris, much more than I would say you can do with full-length pants.
While it is a pant that is difficult to pull off, I have some tips and tricks for how to make the capris look like they didn’t come out of your grandma’s closet:
Patterns on your capris matter. Some look good, some don’t. Find a pattern that not only suits you but also suits the rest of your outfit.
Do not underestimate the power of a skirt or short dress over capris. It may be classic, it may be cliché, but it is a powerful silhouette that will always push the envelope.
Just like with jeans, buy capris in the rise that you feel best flatters you. If you don’t look good in high-rise jeans, don’t buy high-rise capris.
Always layer like crazy. I feel like this goes for any outfit, but layering is key to not only creating a silhouette but also to the variety in textures, patterns, and colors that make an outfit well-rounded and “fashionable.”
Unfortunately, capris are designed for people with beautifully round, full calves. I’ve been blessed with beautiful fat girl calves, so I don’t run into much of a problem. But I acknowledge not everyone is blessed in the ways I am. If you don’t think your calves are beautiful, it is not wise to wear capris. My legs look like they fell off a baby doll for a point of reference to assess the capri-ability of your calves.
Just as you began your article with the words of your favorite musician-philosopher, I will end my article in the words of my favorite musician-philosopher-Morrissey-hating Robert Smith: “The empty hours of greed / And uselessly always the need / To feel again the real belief / Of something more than mockery / If only I could fill my heart with love.” I hope that I have convinced you to open your heart to capris.