More Than Pie: Lessons from Thanksgiving with Friends

By Steve Abrahão, Associate Dean of Students for Academic Life

As a first-generation American, Thanksgiving wasn’t really a big holiday in my family. Don’t get me wrong, who doesn’t love the classics? The turkey, the stuffing, the mashed potatoes... oh, the carbs. Growing up, we didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving in the traditional sense.

It wasn’t until I went off to college that I discovered how much I actually love Thanksgiving break. I was lucky to have friends who invited me to spend the holiday with their families. They knew I couldn’t afford to go home and didn’t want me to spend the break alone. What started as a simple invitation quickly became one of my favorite college memories: getting a peek into how different families celebrate, learning their traditions, and experiencing something completely new.

Those experiences gave me a fresh perspective and 10 extra pounds. They also taught me that Thanksgiving isn’t just about turkey and pie: it’s about slowing down, connecting, and being thankful.

If you’re heading to a friend’s home for Thanksgiving this year, here are three tips I’ve learned along the way:

Tip #1: Ask what to expect.

Every family does Thanksgiving a little differently. Is it a “watch football all day in sweatpants” kind of household or a “sit-down dinner with fancy napkins and assigned seating” vibe? Are there multiple dinner stops? Get the lay of the land before you show up. Trust me, it helps.

Tip #2: Offer to bring something.

It doesn’t have to be fancy, maybe it’s your favorite dessert, a family recipe, or even just a small bouquet of flowers. The golden rule: don’t show up empty-handed.

Tip #3: Ask about the laundry situation.

Yes, it’s break, and yes, college students everywhere are united by one universal need: clean clothes. Your friend’s family will probably say yes, but it’s polite to ask first. 

Thanksgiving might not have been part of my childhood, but it’s become one of my favorite holiday breaks. It’s a time to rest, recharge, and reflect… and if you’re lucky, to enjoy a second (or third) slice of pie while surrounded by people who make you feel at home.