The Signs as Clickhole Quotes

Aries

“My goal is to sing about every type of egg on TV. So far I’ve done scrambled. I’ve still got a ton of work ahead of me.” - Kelsey Grammer

Taurus

“I think about how sad it is that every time Mario eats a mushroom and gets bigger, his bones must hurt so bad.” - Charlize Theron

Gemini

“Ah shit, I left my blueberry muffin on the moon.” - Buzz Aldrin

Cancer

“I started off real small, but as time went on, I became very, very big.” - Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Leo

“[Ashley] thinks the opposite of fire is water, and I think the opposite of fire is no fire.” - Mary-Kate Olsen

Virgo

“Usually I write songs in the studio with my team, but for this album, I tried to mostly write while a man in a safari hat chased after me waving a human-sized net.” - Ariana Grande

Libra

“I smile so much in the hope that I will one day be cast in a film as The Joker. The irony there is that I will be so very sad until that day comes.” - James Corden

Scorpio

“Most of the time I was kicking, I was kicking at bees.” - David Beckham

Sagittarius

“Crabs are frankly no different from spiders, and it’s shameful that my supermarket will sell me one but not the other.” - Bernie Sanders

Capricorn

“You need to cut toxic people out of your life, see through the bullshit, and start worrying about the things that really matter.” - Shigeru Miyamoto

Aquarius

“I’m a big believer in spirit animals. I think I’m three worms.” - Gwyneth Paltrow

Pisces

“Acting is a great way to get paid for wearing a cowboy hat, but it doesn’t work the other way around.” - Jake Gyllenhaal