Tragedy Strikes: Contributors Meeting now at 5:30

The Quest, a stalwart reminder of journalistic integrity in this clown world we live in, is facing dramatic and heretofore unseen scheduling difficulties. In the before times, known to the unlettered as “last semester,” former queditor Vincent ‘yaoi switzerland’ Tanforan would journey out to the distant sanctum of culinary delights called Costco and get two large pizzas for the enjoyment of our potential Quontributors. Naturally, most of the time these pizzas would not be wholly consumed by the rogues’ gallery of contributors meeting attendees, and instead would turn into Monsieur Tanforan’s dinner for the week. However, now that the late, great Vincent is in a farther off land than even Costco, France 🇫🇷, our primary source of pizza is gone. Last semester he had enough time to drive to Costco, but now all of our classes end at 4pm and I don’t even have driver’s license, so, in order to have enough time to secure a glut of affordable, large pizzas for the hankering masses of journalistically inclined Reedites, we have decided to migrate the beginning of contributors meetings to thirty minutes later, the auspicious 5:30pm. Part of this is a parable. If you give us money, we give you pizza, so give us money. But mostly, this is begging and groveling for you to now show up at 5:30pm on Mondays to accommodate our collectively fuckass schedules. Then we can talk about fun stuff, like security cameras, and other cool things. Please show up. Please. I beg of you. We beg of you! And, if begging isn’t enough, we can also threaten. If you try to show up at 5pm, the former, heretical contributors meeting time, we will have our three Quest approved henchmen throw you in the canyon, a fate only known to the most unfortunate. Bye for now, and see you all at 5:30pm next week!