Overheard at Reed: 11/7/2025

"I'm gonna major in Not Knowing"

“I think I was Jesus in a past life. I once was dead for a little while. I died for seven minutes.” - Commons

“Did I show you the set that I got from the girl whose boyfriend I went on a date with?”

“I put a lot of noodles down my pants as a child”

"There's no letting him cook when you're working station 13C on the assembly line."

"I've already given him two vasectomies. I don't need to give him any more."

Save some for the rest of us.

“There’s enough bean to go around.”

Or, don’t save some for the rest of us.

“Imagine Keanu Reeves in utero”

“Anyone who wants to be a pilot does not have a dad that loves them”

"I'm gonna teleport off the Bouncy Bridge..." - Bouncy Bridge

​​“He thought YOU were George Soros?!”

“Would transcendentalists hate mutual masturbation?”

Transcendentalism already is mutual masturbation.

“I'm like the McCarthy of Taylor Swift”

Are we implying that Taylor Swift is communism?

“I meant to stab them last night but they were mad.”